Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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