But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
