hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
