your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
