Porn is love you can see.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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