Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
