i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
