I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
