WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
