I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
