And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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