There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
