there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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