Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
