He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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