I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
try to milk me bitch
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