So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
