I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
