His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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