just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
