Where are you?
In a non slutty way
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you would pick up someone in the library
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
