Only a mothe r could love this liver
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
