Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
