She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
