omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
