Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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