When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You took a bar mat shot.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize