she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
