my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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