i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
