My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
