Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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