Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
