I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
