i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
