just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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