He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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