He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
