used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
