you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
