I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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