Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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