end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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