Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
