This is not my ceiling
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
