every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
