I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
