turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
