I don't think brook has ever known best
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
