Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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