oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
