I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
